wedding planning reflections

After the initial rush to book the church, the reception venue and the most important wedding suppliers, I'm finally at the point where I can sit back, take things slow, and reflect.

The actual wedding planning, I've found, is totally different from sporadically researching about it. The latter was what I was doing for more than a year before I got engaged. It was a hobby, more than anything else, and was pressure-free. I didn't have to fidget about being able to book my preferred supplier before anyone else did. I could dream big, and I didn't have to keep tabs on whether my net liabilities had already exceeded my net worth.

Then again, a real wedding coming up is always, always so much better than a nebulous concept in an unforeseeable future. :)

What have I learned in my 2 months of wedding planning?

Number one is probably the most important but is also the one that I probably have the most difficulty remembering. Wedding planning should be fun. I can't count how many times I've bit Aivan's head off for things that later on seem trivial. Whatever it is, it's never as important as it first seems.

Number two: you can't please everyone. There will be people you can't invite or make part of your entourage. There will be people who think you should get married next year instead of this year, or next century instead of this century. And you can't always please your vendors -- somewhere along the line, you'll have to say "no" to some of their ideas.

Another thing I've learned is to always have a plan B -- and budget for it! When the photographer I had intended to book begged off due to another assignment, I thought I would have to spend twice my photography budget on my next choice. Luckily, I found another photographer (photographers, actually) whose fees were comparable and whose portfolio was just terrific!

This next piece of wisdom comes from my sister: DON'T spend all your savings on the wedding. People will always tell you not to spend money that you don't have (i.e., get a loan) on your wedding, but go further and try not to spend all the money that you do have. This will probably not apply to people who have cash to burn, but to people like me, it's a way of setting a limit on on your wedding expenses.

Having said that, here's the other side of the coin: DO expect to spend much more than you intend. At this point I am watching my dream of a P150,000 wedding crumble to dust. Aivan and I used to think that once we had the money for the reception, we were good to go, that the other expenses would be trivial. How wrong we were! It's those other expenses, the little things, that can break the bank. The trouble with planning a wedding is that you have to strike that balance between budget-friendliness and quality that is worthy of a once-in-a-lifetime event. You don't want to regret, ten years along the line, not coughing up a few thousands (or, ouch, a few ten thousands) more for something that matters a lot after all.